In this episode we talk to a young person therapist and he answers some of your questions about childrens therapy. We hope you enjoy it and if you would like to ask any other questions or have any comments, we would like to hear from you.
http://www.horizonplymouth.co.uk
In this episode we talk to a young person therapist and he answers some of your questions about childrens therapy. We hope you enjoy it and if you would like to ask any other questions or have any comments, we would like to hear from you.
http://www.horizonplymouth.co.uk
Hello, my name is Alan and I'm the therapy guy.
These podcasts are all about mental health and
all things related to the services are available.
It's about giving you information about how you can access
these services, what you can do to personally improve your
mental health, and it's about encouraging you to ask questions
and seek the support that you need.
Today we're going to be talking
to a young person therapist.
We have a great therapist called Mark in.
He's a children and young person specialist, and
he's going to answer some questions that we've
been sent by yourselves about young person therapy
and what to expect in the room.
We welcome your feedback and any questions you have.
We can always get Mark in again for further
podcasts to answer any further questions for you.
So please, I'm going to introduce him and then
I've got some questions and we'll see how you
are at the end and hopefully you enjoy it.
So welcome, Mark.
It's great for you to be here.
Can you just tell us a
little bit about yourself, please? Excellent.
My name is Mark.
I'm glad to be here today with the therapy guy, and I'm
going to talk about what I do and how I do it.
I've been a therapist now for around six and a
half years, and I've been helping to make people better,
I suppose, if you want to call it a better
way, and within that, helping them make themselves better.
Today we're going to talk about some of
the questions that are asked and I'm eager
to find out what those questions are.
And thank you very much.
And that's me.
Okay, thanks, Mark.
All right, so we'll get straight on with it.
And I've got a series about half
of So questions for you to answer.
So maybe the first one, and I know this is
a popular one because I had this ask of myself.
Okay, so a young person might actually
want to know, will their parents be
involved in the counselling process?
Now, the way I work is I like to
involve the parents as much as I can.
Will they be involved in the room?
Usually on a first meeting, I will
depend on the age of the person.
So when we're talking about young people, we're talking about
between seven, eight, nine to eleven, up to the age
of 18, and it totally depends on the person.
So if their age is like 16, 15 and they don't
want the parent in the room, that's absolutely fine.
If we're younger than that, then I
actively involve the parents in the room.
I bring them in the room because the child would
be more comfortable sometimes with a parent in the room.
So do they get involved?
I like to involve them because I
think that they're an intricate part of
what's going on in the counselling situation.
Okay, great, thank you.
So, another thing, obviously, sometimes young people especially, can
get bit nervous about is, is it okay for
them to express anything and to talk about their
feelings and emotions in the realm with you, even
though they may not understand on themselves?
I actually think I think that's a really good question
because I actually think that if they didn't talk about
their emotions, then what are they doing in the room?
I think to get their emotions
out is a very important thing.
A lot of young people, what they'll
do is they'll bottle them up, they'll
internalise them, they won't speak to anybody.
Giving them an environment where they are able
to talk, I think, is so absolutely important.
They are able to actually tell me
what's going on in their world.
They're actually able to tell me why
it's going on in their world.
Sometimes they're not sure why they're
feeling the way they are feeling.
And we can pick that apart, we can have a look at that.
Are they afraid to talk about
their emotions in my room?
I would encourage it.
It's knowing who they can talk to.
That's a good point here, because when they know
that they're confident they can talk to you, then
getting their emotions out then becomes very easy.
Okay, great. Thank you.
What are you actually going to ask the young person?
So the question, I suppose, is, what are
you going to ask me in the room?
That's what I got.
Right, so what am I going to ask you?
I'm going to ask you what
you like, what you don't like.
I'm going to ask you where you're from, what school
you go, if you go to college or university.
I'm going to ask you what subjects you're good at.
I'm going to ask you who your friends are.
I'm going to ask you what you do, what you're good at.
I'm going to ask you what you like
to play, what games you like to play.
And I'm going to basically want to know all about
you because you're the important person in the room.
So I'm going to be asking you everything
to tell me everything about you and what
you feel, because that's the way we're going
to work out how this problem affects you.
Because that's also what I'm going to ask you, is
when you've come there, why it affects you so much.
And sometimes we don't have an answer for that.
Sometimes within the peer group that you have, sometimes we
can't find an answer for that, but we are going
to endeavour to try leading on to that.
Mark, obviously, what about a sort of role reversal?
So if I was a young person,
am I allowed to ask you questions?
Absolutely, yeah.
If I'm going to sit there and ask all
the questions, why shouldn't you ask questions of me?
Now, depending on the question, if it's a
personal question, am I going to answer it?
It depends on how personal it is.
If I'm going to ask you personal questions, do
I feel that it's right that you should actually
sit there and answer a question that I've asked?
So when you ask me a question, I don't
want you to be afraid to sit there and
say, either this is happening or that's happening.
What would you do?
Because that's a very important thing, because what I
would do is exactly what I would do.
So can you ask me a question as
open as we are in the room?
Absolutely, yes. Great.
Another one that may put young people off
and they stopped people from coming is that
thought that other people might find out.
So how confidential is it?
Will my friends, if I'm not young person, my
friends or school find out that I'm coming to?
I'm not going to tell anybody that you're here.
The people that know that you're here,
family, they already know that you're here.
That goes back to the
involvement of parents and things.
So am I going to tell your school? No, absolutely not.
Am I going to tell your friends? Absolutely not.
Because I don't know who they are.
It's going to be as confidential as you want it to be.
If you want to go away and tell
people, then by all means, please do so.
I'm not going to stop you, but
I am not going to do that.
What you say in my room will stay in my room.
Okay, great.
I get asked this a lot myself, even from adults.
So how long is it going to be?
How long before I should start to see
myself improving, start to feel myself feeling better?
That's a good question.
And it totally depends upon what the
issue is you're going to bring.
If it's a grief issue, what we have to do is
we have to look at where the grief comes from.
We have to assess the grief, we have
to get you back on your feet and
have to get you thinking about yourself again.
How long is that going to take?
There's no cliche, isn't it?
How long is a piece of string?
I don't know.
But if you engage in the process, it moves at
a really good rate, and that totally depends on you.
Okay, great.
So just got a couple more.
We're going to focus in a minute and maybe what some
parents might ask and all that thing, but I've got an
interesting one, and again, I get asked this quite a lot.
So what should that young person
do if they see you outside?
So they're going to see you shopping in Tesco.
What are you going to do?
Or maybe what should they do?
First of all, you see me, run, seriously
no, don't do that.
If you see me in a shopping centre or if
you see me outside in the street, I'm human.
I'm the same as you.
Don't be afraid that if you want
to approach me, that's absolutely fine.
I personally will not approach you.
I won't acknowledge you.
And that doesn't mean that I'm being ignorant.
That just means that I acknowledge your
barriers and that you have them.
If you wish to approach me, by all means do so.
I will say hello, and we
will engage, and we will leave.
And that is as much as it is.
So don't be afraid to do that, because outside
of here outside of here, I'm not a therapist. Okay.
Obviously we can understand that different therapists
have different ways of dealing with that.
Maybe that's something that if you're a young person or
the parents are in the room, you could ask and
actually find out, because each person will be different
won't they? Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.
Some people will relish the fact that
they've seen you in the street.
Some people won't.
And that's absolutely it's horses
for courses at that point.
Okay, so a couple of other questions,
just from parental point of view.
Why should I bring my child to you?
If you feel that your child is actually having
some problems as parents, you then take it upon
yourself to try to be the best you can
for your parent there, for your child.
So why should you bring them to me?
Why should you bring them to a therapist?
Because the therapist is going to unpick their
problems and going to unpick their issues.
Sometimes they won't talk to you, in
which case they will talk to me.
And that's why you should bring your children to
me, because I'm going to make sure that they
get the best care that they can have.
Okay, great.
It sounds fantastic, but again, probably a little
bit deeper, and I'm going to put you
on the spot here a little bit.
So if my child, my young, is suffering,
experiencing, I can see that they're struggling.
Maybe they might be self harming
or there's something going on.
They're not themselves, and I'm
really worried about them.
So I'm a little bit resistant, ready to bring them into
the room with you because I want to help them myself.
Are you going to tell me as
a parent what's going on for them?
Are you going to tell me what's happening in that room?
If they speak to you privately?
If they speak to me privately in the room?
No, I'm not going to tell
you what's happened in the room.
I absolutely relish the fact that you care that
much about your child, that you want your child
to get the help that they deserve.
Can I tell you what's going on in the room?
The room is completely confidential.
I will not even tell the parent
of that child what they've talked about.
Am I going to let the parent know that I'm
giving them the child the best that they can be?
Yes, they can.
Am I going to try and build that child up to
make sure that all the issues they have hopefully go away.
Yes, I'm going to do that.
I said hopefully, because sometimes they don't.
Sometimes we just learn to live with them as parents.
Yes, we want the best for our children.
And so if you're asking me, am I going to
tell you about what's going on in this session, if
you ask me, I'm afraid the answer is no.
Okay, great.
We understand the confidential answer.
Again, you must come across it quite a lot when parents
are really worried and want to know, because we want to
have our children, but it can be really difficult for a
parent to sit outside and trust somebody else.
One last question that I've got that I get
asked for a lot, especially from parents who are
nervous because they may not have had therapy before.
What about things like child services, social services?
How does that work?
So if the child is saying something yes.
And are you going to be telling
that, or how confidential is it?
That completely depends on what
the child is telling me.
If the child is telling me that they're
harming themselves, first of all, that is an
issue that we need to address immediately.
If the child is telling me that they're
feeling this is a bad subject, but suicidal,
I have to assess that information.
And if I felt that I needed to act
on that information, then, yes, I am going to
get the appropriate authorities in, because the last thing
I want is that child to harm themselves.
Okay, so what about if we're
getting a little bit deeper here?
What if they're being harmed by somebody else?
If they're being harmed by somebody else, then
that is a very important subject, and we
absolutely need to address it straight away.
Would I inform the appropriate authorities? Absolutely.
I would have to, and I would have to let the child
know that I could not keep that confidential in the room.
Okay, great.
All right, Mark, I really appreciate
you answering some of the questions.
I got a couple of lighter ones to end on. Really? Yes.
But again, if you find some of
this interesting, please let us know.
If you've got any other further questions, let us know.
I'm sure, as I said, we can
put them to work at different rates.
So what is it you enjoy the
most about being a young person therapist?
I absolutely love the fact that a child will
actually tell you exactly what's going on in their
world when they do it, how they do it.
It is so refreshing to be a young person therapist
simply because when you see a change, you can actually
see the change taking place in front of you.
When that child actually makes a difference
and can see the difference, it is
amazing to see how their lives change.
Why am I a young person therapist?
I'm a young person therapist because I
believe that they deserve the best that
they can get absolutely fantastic.
I like to thank you for your time tonight.
Yes, I appreciate you answering some of my questions.
And we're going to end here.
Work is going to hang around for a bit
and we're going to have a conversation after.
And I'm going to talk to
him about obviously coming in again.
And you may be hearing him on a later podcast
because it's going to be a young person therapist.
He's also a relationship, your
counsellor and a racial therapist.
So he's going to be talking about
that at a later time as well.
But for the day, I'm just going to sign off
and I look forward to you listening next time.
But thanks for the day. The therapy guy.