How To Manage Change in Life

This episode was recorded less than a month in the initial Covid-19 lockdown in March 2020. At that point, a lot was unknown, there were concerns about food, jobs, housing, schools and everything else.

In this episode, we give you some tips and advice for managing the situations we find ourselves in. Learning how to manage change in life helps us to be more adaptable when the next change comes along.

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Transcript

Hello and welcome to latest issue of Therapy Guy.

I hope you're well and keeping safe during these times.

Life has certainly changed dramatically for a lot of people over these

past few weeks and I imagine it's going to continue to do

so for a lot of us for a while yet.

It's interesting even today, myself. I'm coming.

I'm recording this from a different place.

I'm recording this from my home.

I too have took the choice to shut our

offices for face to face contact at the moment.

And we're having to adapt to doing things

online, doing things differently, same as everybody else.

Much like life is just follow those twists and turns,

ups and downs that we're rarely in control of.

So it can feel like we're

riding a roller coaster, really.

And some people can thrive on that excitement and some

of us can struggle with all the uncertainty and nervousness

of the future. In life at the moment is changing

sort of hour by hour, day by day.

I too, over the past few weeks, have been

on that roller coaster, worrying about my family, health,

business, and there's been a lot of speculation, fake

news, panic and anxiety that's been in the media,

on social media that's increased my own and obviously

people's fears and anxieties.

We can soak that up for a while.

Yes, and it's easy to soak up that panic and

the fear that we're thinking about shops running out of

food, unemployment, finances, the kids being away from schools for

closing, all the news about the overloaded NHS and

what's going to happen in the future.

So it can be incredibly hard as well to make

decisions for the future when we don't know what's happening

next in all the services and businesses help lines, what

we normally turn to just being overwhelmed.

It's really important that we don't lose that focus

on how to cope through these times, our own

coping strategies, our own mechanisms for adapting to change.

It can be very easy for us to focus

on everything that is going wrong and catastrophise our

own situation, especially when we are uncertain about our

future finances, job security and our health.

See what I've done there?

I've just reminded you again of all

the things that could go wrong.

And these reminders, when you're hearing it day after day,

hour after hour, and you're reading it on Facebook or

any social media feeds that you watch, they can create

this anxiety and the fear of the future.

It always seems to be that brings out the best

and the worst in people at times of crisis.

You see, there's some total opposites.

There's people on there who are stuck in that

anxiety loop, who are catastrophizing the future, who are

picking apart what the government or what other people

are trying to do to help.

And then you have other people who are trying to

remain positive, trying to focus on what could happen and

what they're going to do when this is over.

But I too get stuck in this loop sometimes and

it can be very difficult for me as a person

who owns a business, to see the future.

And we've had to adapt and we are going to have

to make some choices and some of those choices are going

to be painful for myself and for other people.

But how are you managing to

ride this roller coaster emotions?

Are you struggling to keep it up or

are you taking it all in your stride?

It's really interesting that we can do maybe one

of these things if one of those things is

happening, but when there's a whole range of different

things that's going on and restrictions of what we

can and can't do, we soon start to struggle.

I've got some tips and suggestions that maybe

can help manage your emotions during this time.

So the first one is I'd like you to actually think

about what you're actually in control of, look for things you

can do, look at your finances, sort out the paperwork that

you've been mean to do, or tidy particular room, for example,

that you've been mean to get around to.

I know these things are basic and lots of people have

been saying them, but we do forget them now and again.

I too have took this opportunity to look at the

finances of both personally and other business, try to adapt

some of them, make the changes, look for better deals,

those sorts of things, because it helps me feel more

in control of what's going to happen in the future.

Encouraging yourself to focus on one thing at a time.

Anxiety and stress can come from trying to do

or think about too many things at once.

It's really important just to try and do one job.

Let's just do that.

Make a list.

It's something that I always do, starting

with the easiest thing or the smallest

thing first, whatever jumps off that list.

And I also remember to acknowledge and sort of

congratulate myself each time I cross something off that

list or each time I actually achieve something.

It can be really easy for us to just

think, oh, I haven't done the rest of the

list, I haven't done this, I haven't done that.

We've got time now.

Yes, you've got time to do what you need to do.

Take those regular breaks.

Again, we can try to push ourselves or

punish ourselves for taking breaks, but it can

be difficult to concentrate if you've been removed

from your normal routine or your normal environment.

If you work from say, like the norm of nine

to five and now you're working from home and you've

got the children or family, or you can't go out

for your morning walk or whatever it is you normally

do, you have to adapt to your routine. Yes.

So entertaining the children during the

day and working can be difficult.

I tend to change when I'm working.

So I work once children have gone to bed or

when I've got some bit of peace and quiet.

If they go out for some exercise, I take the

opportunity to do some work around that or whether or

not I've been explaining to my children, to my family,

what is going on, what they have to do.

Try to get them involved as much as possible, giving

them jobs to do, their routines being changed as well.

They're not seeing their friends,

their structure has been changed.

Even with ourselves being at home, trying to

keep in touch with people, okay, it's important,

but it is difficult, I realise calling, texting

or video chats aren't seen.

We like to interact.

We are social creatures.

I miss my family, I miss being able

to hug my children who are grown up.

I miss being able to see and play with

my grandchildren and I've been video calling them and

chatting to them as much as possible.

But I also recognise it's not the same,

but it's important that we keep up with

that contact in whatever way we can. Whatever way.

Works for yourself.

Again, little and often next is try to keep a routine.

If you get out for work at

07:00 normally, try to stick to that.

It can be really easy to go into holiday mode and sort

of start getting off a bit later, going to bed later.

That then takes it harder for us to focus because

our minds are struggling to adapt with everything else.

And then we're out of our normal routine.

So things seem to become a little bit harder.

Obviously, the basic stuff you've been told all

the way through this, eating as healthy as

you can, drinking enough water or exercising, keeping

all that routine as normal as possible.

It can be easy to slip into bad

habits like snacking or staying up later.

And I too have been guilty of that.

I know that some of these tips, some

of these things I'm saying I've been guilty

of, I haven't been doing some of them.

Which is why I decided to mention them today and

sort of put it out for us, everyone as well.

As a reminder for myself, I think last

week I must have had my own body

weight in chocolate, in rubbish from the cupboards.

This week it's going to be different.

I'm going to change.

I'm going to start coming back to my

normal routine as best as I can.

If you want to know what's happening yes.

Which we all do.

We want to look we want to keep up

with the news, keep up with what's going on.

Try to look at reputable, factual

websites like the Government or NHS.

Try to limit your time on social media or

your exposure to that fake news or sensationalised headlines.

I'm not asking you to stop speaking to your friends.

Stop interacting with people on social media

just maybe unfollow those negative headlines, those

people that are struggling or handing out

news that's inappropriate or wrong.

I've watched a lot of it lately and

there's two ways of looking at the figures.

It is terrible what is going on in the

amount of deaths that are happening, but there's also

a lot of people that are surviving this virus.

There's a lot of positivity people volunteering and

helping their local communities, something that we haven't

done for such a long time.

So just be careful of what you watch, what you listen

to, because all of that has an effect on us.

Remember, finally, that this won't last.

Each situation that we enter into, what it is on

our normal day to day lives, they're only temporary.

The feelings and emotions that we have, although they can

be intense and they can seem to last for a

long time, things will return to normal, things will get

back to the way they used to be, appreciate.

We're going to have different information, they're going

to respond and react in different ways.

But this situation that we're in at the

moment is only temporary and it won't last.

Try to remember to follow the government in NHS

advice on keeping yourself, your family and everyone safe

and reducing the risk to everybody else.

And of course, if you have any symptoms yes.

Then follow the medical advice and seek the right

support and information for you at a time.

I hope these tips might help you in some way.

And if you need extra support, there are

services that are available during this time.

Like I said, we've adapted how

we've worked in our businesses.

We're available online for video and telephone support

to enable people to have some support and

encouragement that they need during this time.

But like I said, I also realise

that people like that personal relationship.

They miss that when we're talking on video

and some people can struggle with it.

Remember, we're all in this, we're

all riding our own roller coaster.

At times we're going to feel more upbeat

and at times we're going to struggle. Yes.

And find things difficult, especially

during this lovely weather.

Keep safe.

Remember to help each other.

Remember that people are trying their best.

It's a unique situation. Yes.

Things may not be going your way, you might

be struggling with your finances or your business, but

people are trying to help us and we're doing

the best they can during these situations.

We can always change things ourselves and I'm

sure everyone is going to learn some lessons

from this and hopefully society will be a

better place when all this is over.

So, for me at the moment, I'm going to sign off.

Yes, I'm going to go back to

doing some work from my kitchen table.

I hope you stay safe.

I hope you've enjoyed this today and

you find some of it useful.

As always, I'd love to hear your feedback? Yes.

Any questions you got for me?

If we can offer you some support and guidance during

this time, please don't hesitate to get in touch.

We are here for you too. Thanks for listening.

As always, stay safe and sign off

for this podcast and therapy guy.

Bye for now. Bye.