Have you ever asked yourself 'How can I improve my mental health?'
In this episode, I offer you some tips and information on how to improve your mental health and wellbeing so that you can be your strongest, most capable self. We all struggle at times to make positive changes in our lives and improve our day to day experience, so feel free to reach out and we would be happy to help you.
I hope you enjoy this podcast and find it useful. If you have any questions or comments please do not hesitate to contact me at any point:
Have you ever asked yourself 'How can I improve my mental health?'
In this episode, I offer you some tips and information on how to improve your mental health and wellbeing so that you can be your strongest, most capable self. We all struggle at times to make positive changes in our lives and improve our day to day experience, so feel free to reach out and we would be happy to help you.
I hope you enjoy this podcast and find it useful. If you have any questions or comments please do not hesitate to contact me at any point:
You are listening to The Therapy Guy talking
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Hi, and welcome back to the therapy Guy.
My name is Alan, and today we're going
to talk to you about how to make
a change which supports our mental health.
So we are constantly being offered these different tips
and advice on how to stay healthy and active.
And we are increasingly being offered more and more advice
around caring for our mental health and well being.
So why do we sometimes struggle to listen to all
this great advice and this guidance from the experts?
If we take for example, for years we've been told to
eat more fruit and veg, told to take more exercise.
And although a lot of us do this, some
of us can struggle with prioritising our own health
and wellbeing over other things in our lives.
And I know of course, at times there
can be a financial or time elements which
prevent us from engaging in these changes.
But we also know deep down that
we really should be doing these things.
Now, I see lots of reasons why we
struggle to make changes, both personally and professionally.
Myself and my colleagues support people every day, encouraging them
to find the strength and the will to make the
changes that they want and understand the benefit that this
will be to them in the long term.
Some of the basic reasons we struggle are that we
sometimes feel pressured to conform and feel that we have
been told what we should and shouldn't do and when
we can't and can't do something for whatever reason.
And when we do this, we got a sense that
if we can't achieve what has been asked of us,
we get an inner sense of this failing.
And it compounds the feelings of what's the point of
trying when all I do is fail every time?
In some of us there's a rebellious streak.
I know that I've got this.
And this rebellious streak struggles when we're told
to do something or not do something.
Just think about it.
Sometimes when you see a wet paint sign or
the old classic do not push the red button,
how many of us actually give in and actually,
just out of curiosity, just press the button or
touch the paint just to see what will happen.
So when we are told we can't do something,
our internal thought process can lead us to craving
it even more than we normally do. Think about it.
With the situation at the moment, with the
Covid 19 virus and the Lockdown guidelines, these
being issued by the government on how we
can improve things and make things better overall.
But how many people are finding it difficult not to go
out all of a sudden. All of a sudden we want
to go out for walks, we want to do these things
that we haven't done for a long time.
Just look how many people are
out jogging or cycling right now.
So what I'm trying to say is that to make
changes to our lifestyles takes a couple of very basic
things that us as people, we can overlook.
One of the first ones is desire.
And the advantage of the change. Is that advantage
to change big enough for us to endure the changes
we have to make, the process we have to go
through, if we take losing weight or getting fit as
an example, it involves a lot of change.
We suddenly have to watch or change what we
eat, we have to exercise, whether that's at the
gym, in a class or on our own.
All these sudden changes can make our body struggle
and think about all those hunger pains and exercise
pains that we get as a result initially.
So our desire and reasons behind the change has to
be big enough to see us through this initial process.
That's why sometimes it takes a big event or
moment in our lives to encourage these changes.
For example, previously I was asked by
a lady who wanted some hypnotherapy.
She wanted hypnotherapy to give up smoking.
Now, she had previously had open heart
surgery partially due to her smoking.
And while she had stopped for
a while, as she recuperated, etc.
She had found herself just
suddenly starting to smoke again.
So I asked her what would it take to give her
a big enough reason to stop if open heart surgery couldn't.
The reason she started in was that all these things
that had happened in our lives, all the changes that
she had to make for her to seem too much,
her breathing wanted some normality and the normal as it
was for years was for her to smoke.
So what are your reasons for making a change?
Think about it.
Think about all those reasons big enough to
keep you going through the painful
difficult times when you are changing.
Secondly, what are you going to do?
First, people can have this moment and then they decide to
change their lives and they go on that diet and they
start heading to the gym several times a week.
But after a while, their
motivation can start to struggle.
They can forget why they started
all those weeks or days ago.
And the change is so big
it can be difficult to maintain.
Now, this might all sound like a bit
like doom and gloom, but it isn't really.
What I'm encouraging you to think about is
that you can achieve whatever you want.
Sometimes it will be hard, sometimes it will take
longer than you expect, sometimes you will fail and
then we'll have failed some more before you achieve
that target, before you get there.
But understanding that we all have to fail
and take responsibility for ourselves is what will
enable us to achieve the things we want.
The smoker I spoke about earlier blamed other people
for offering her a cigarette, for smoking around her.
We discussed that it had to be her strength, her
determination that was going to enable her to say no.
I would encourage you to break things down and
start becoming aware of how you do things now
before initiating any changes you want to make.
Now, by this I mean if we use dieting as an
example, if you want to lose or gain weight, you can
just grab a diet plan online and get stuck in.
But there are so many variables in whether
it's going to be successful or not.
How many calories do you need?
How much exercise do you get?
What's your body like?
How do you process all that food?
And the changes so can be difficult to maintain
by checking and writing down what you're eating now,
just normally for a week or two.
This will naturally encourage you to start seeing
areas where you can make some changes.
Just small ones that make a big impact.
For example, when I did this, I suddenly realised
and recognised that when I was at work, I
constantly grazed on a quick fix, easy snack stuff.
That every little chocolate biscuit drawer
that we've all got in work.
I knew that I was doing this, yes, I knew that
every time I pass that drawer I dip in, but I
just didn't realise how much overall I was eating every day
and how the portions of food that I was eating at
home were always bigger than the recommended portions, etc.
We can't eat just one slice of pizza, can we?
We're going to eat the whole lot.
Knowledge is power in helping you
to make the changes you need.
It doesn't matter what change you want.
Raising your awareness of what you are doing now and
looking at what small changes you can make to that
process will help in making lasting changes for the future.
Want to get fitter?
How much exercise do you do now?
Do you know how far you walk every day?
Do you know what the best exercise for you is?
Can you start by walking more?
Or think about doing an exercise that
you enjoy if you don't like running?
And what about swimming?
Or vice versa?
If you don't want to do something on your
own, join a different group, try different things.
Try not to give up after a while.
Find a time that works for you.
If I want to go to the gym,
it has to be first thing in the morning.
I've lost my motivation by the end of the day.
Now, I know lots of people go
after work, I just can't do it.
So by knowing this for myself, I
can plan when I can go.
I can get my kit ready the night before, saying to
myself, I would just go there and do what I can.
So it's easier for me than saying, I'm going
to go there and I'm going to run X
amount or I'm going to lift X amount.
Once I actually walk through that
door, I can feel the achievement.
I've actually got to the gym today and I know
I'm going to work as hard as I can.
Do you want a promotion or a better job?
What stops you from applying
or putting yourself forward?
Is it that you don't feel good enough?
Do you blame others or see it as they're better than
you, or they are liked more than you and you aren't?
Their face fits and yours doesn't?
By taking responsibility for yourself, understanding that these are
your thoughts, yes, you might have evidence at times
to support some of them, but are you helping
yourself or the situation to change in any way
by holding on to all that negativity, all that
blame and unfairness that you feel, is that helping?
If you start to look at, okay, this is my
situation, I don't like it, what can I do?
Do I need to change my thinking?
Do I need to improve my knowledge or skills?
How can I increase my confidence?
How would that help?
What can I do to help me? Now?
This isn't always easy, I can understand that.
But doing nothing will achieve nothing.
Yes, as I said, it may be hard and
it may sometimes not work out for you initially.
But every time we fail, we need to
look at what we've learned from that situation,
not beat ourselves up for failing.
Once again, all that does is
keep us exactly where we are.
Keep making small changes, small improvements.
Keep doing the things that make you feel good.
And keep your routine structure.
Know that each step you make it doesn't
really matter how small that step is, will
eventually get you to where you're going.
The only time we truly fail is if we stop
and start looking for something or someone to blame.
So before I give you some tips for
helping your mental health and wellbeing and making
those changes, please take away this message.
Accept responsibility for you and your thoughts.
Start small.
It doesn't matter how insignificant the changes, the
ripple effect will be huge on yourself.
And finally, with raising your own awareness of
what you do and how you act, you
can start to realise the changes within you.
And you have got this.
By making small, little changes, it becomes easier
for you to make those lasting changes that
you definitely deserve and you want.
So here are ten generalised routine tips
for helping you make those changes.
So the first one stick to a routine.
For example, go to sleep and wake
up at a reasonable time every day. Do this.
Don't be tempted to change this at
weekends or on your days off.
Getting up at the same time each day helps
to improve the quality of your sleep overall.
Even if you go to bed really late, still try to get
up at the same time the next day when you get dressed.
Trying to get dressed in comfortable
clothes that make you feel good.
Basic things like getting showered, washing your
face, having a shave, looking after yourself.
It's amazing how doing these little things
can impact your mood overall, even if
you don't realise it at that time.
One of the things I find in my work is that
people who are feeling low tend to stop looking after themselves.
A man might stop shaving or a lady
might stop putting makeup on, for example.
Try and get out at least once a day.
Breathe some fresh air if possible.
Nature and the sun can have a big impact on our mood.
It doesn't have to be for no length
of time, very short period to do.
Find some time to exercise every day.
Now this doesn't have to be
sweating profusely at the gym.
It can be a long walk, a short cycle,
a fitness DVD any movement is better than none.
Interact with other people.
Again, it doesn't have to be in person.
We take the situation as it is at the moment.
Try texting or video, calling somebody, Skyping, FaceTime
all these different new platforms we have.
If you're putting it off, ask yourself what's stopping you
speaking to that person that you want to speak to?
Of course, eating and drinking is healthy and as
regular as we can helps us keep our bodies
and brains working in the right way.
Negative feelings and thoughts have a huge
impact on us emotionally and physically.
So look after the thing that looks after you.
Note when your body knows that you want
to get regular meal times, regular food.
It can adapt and it can improve how you think and feel.
Drinking enough all basic things
that we sometimes overlook.
If you think about your car, you wouldn't let your
car run out of fuel or water or oil or
put the wrong fuel in it on purpose.
So why do you do it to yourself?
Attempt to give yourself some time,
some time and space to yourself.
Whether that's in the shower or taking a
bath or just going for a short walk.
Read if possible.
Just very brief time for yourself where you
can just switch off from everything else.
Now this is important, but it's also difficult.
Try and limit the social media and the
time you spend scrolling through different feeds.
The negativity it can bring to our lives through
comparing on how we're looking, how other people's lives
are, how great they look, what they're doing.
Remember, they are just only showing you a
snapshot of what they want you to see.
You don't know what's going on
behind that picture, behind that video.
The post is there to get some
attention, whether that's good or bad.
Attention it doesn't matter.
Unfollow those people who are negative or critical.
Follow the people who are supportive and encouraging
of you and what you want to achieve.
Notice the good in the world.
There is a lot of scary, negative and overwhelming
information to find when we look for it.
Remember the news and the newspapers
get your attention with attention grabbing headlines.
Just look the next time you go into the shops
at the magazines, see which headline jumps off at you.
Which one do you notice first?
There are lots of fantastic people
in the world just like you.
And there are stories of people helping others
and giving to others all of the time.
But they get overshadowed with those attention
seeking, vague headlines that sell newspapers.
For every negative thing you think, try
and read or hear some balanced views
of something positive or rational.
Makes it easier.
Finally, just break things down
to smaller bite size pieces.
Take one day at a time, one job at a time we
can only really concentrate fully on one thing at a time.
Stress and anxiety can be caused by
trying to do too much at once.
So start somewhere on your to do list
and congratulate yourself when you do each job.
You'll never achieve all of those
things on your todo list.
As soon as you do one, another will pop on there.
So just focus on the job in hand. Think about it.
When you're in a group of people, you can
only listen to one person at a time.
So just focus on one thing at a time.
Try and help others with support and encouragement.
Be the friend that you really want for yourself.
There are enough people in the
world that criticise and undermine others.
Why be one of them?
Smile and try and find something every day that brings
a smile to your face or laugh out loud.
I know there's a lot of information and as always,
if you need any help and advice or guidance, if
you have any comments, please get in touch.
It will be great to hear from you, but for
now, I want you to take care of yourselves.
Take one day at a time.
Change one thing at a time.
But for today, The Therapy Guy is
signing off until the next episode.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening to the therapy guy.
Don't forget to tune in next week and please
leave us a review if you enjoyed our podcast.
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